Triskaidekaphobia

"Today is Friday the 13th".

That's scary, because when someone mentions that, you sometimes have the feeling things will go wrong on this day.

I guess if you try to find the downside in everything, nature has a strange way of rewarding you for your efforts, and proving you right.

Today is Saturday the 14th, but I just felt somewhat tempted, to write about the vague recollection of emotional roller-coaster I went through yesterday. I think by now you would have realised that I do have a fear, though not chronic, of the number 13. They call this fear, or phobia, 'Triskaidekaphobia'.

Strange eh? Yup, I know, but I am definitely not alone.

Life is Like a Cup of Coffee

As I am sitting in my chair and typing away furiously at my laptop, I am still reeling from the shocking news of a good friend’s passing. Nancy had led a good life, and she has touched the lives of many.

On the 16th of June this year, I posted my status on the Facebook wall as follows; “I need a mentor..”. Nancy was quick to come to my rescue, knowing full well I was feeling depressed and in need of direction. We do need a bit of cheering up once in a while, and there was Nancy when I needed her. She posted a video link that truly touched my heart.

 

I wish to thank her, for even in her passing, she has touched hearts, and will continue to do so. God must truly love her.

 

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Direction and Destination, Conflicts

The events that unfolded during the night’s meeting came to pass quickly, albeit, not without some friction. In my years of mediating meetings and discussions, I seldom have had a group meeting that didn’t involve some form of conflict, but from the very beginning, it is imperative that this conflict is handled in as professionally as possible.

But I am digressing.

I apologize if I my explanation above is misleading to you. First and foremost, in every meeting, it is simply inevitable that conflicts, whether trivial or serious, are very likely to happen. If this is starting to make me sound like a conflict-monger, then the necessity to explain what a conflict is,  arises. A quick search on Google reveals the many meanings of the word ‘conflict’:

an open clash between two opposing groups (or individuals); "the harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph"--Thomas Paine; "police tried to control the battle between the pro- and anti-abortion mobs"

opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible feelings; "he was immobilized by conflict and indecision"

battle: a hostile meeting of opposing military forces in the course of a war; "Grant won a decisive victory in the battle of Chickamauga"; "he lost his romantic ideas about war when he got into a real engagement"

a state of opposition between persons or ideas or interests; "his conflict of interest made him ineligible for the post"; "a conflict of loyalties"

an incompatibility of dates or events; "he noticed a conflict in the dates of the two meetings"

be in conflict; "The two proposals conflict!"

opposition in a work of drama or fiction between characters or forces (especially an opposition that motivates the development of the plot); "this form of conflict is essential to Mann's writing"

go against, as of rules and laws; "He ran afoul of the law"; "This behavior conflicts with our rules"

dispute: a disagreement or argument about something important; "he had a dispute with his wife"; "there were irreconcilable differences"; "the familiar conflict between Republicans and Democrats"

 

Without getting carried away, a conflict is what often results in the necessity of having a meeting or discussion, and is often a by-product of it as well. So we now have a catch-22 situation; a classic example of the chicken and the egg.

If during the meeting I have been branded as controlling and whatnot, I need to explain that ideas and opinions brought forth during a meeting are all meant to be challenged. And if my ideas are, in the opinion of those who attended the meeting just now, inappropriate, it is the prerogative of the members to voice out, by explaining why my ideas are less than acceptable, backed by the appropriate reasoning. If the reasoning is sound, then all is well and good. After all, it’s for the collective good of the group, nothing more. However, I don’t recall any reasoning other than that I was occupying too much ‘airtime’

My primary concern however, was not about ‘controlling’ or ‘monopolizing', but rather, it was about the direction of the meeting, and the lack of a proper agenda. It is not about any position of ‘prestige’, or the perks that follow. As I reiterate, it’s for the common good. And if I decide to get serious about it, I will get serious about it.

However, if the meeting was intended to be a casual meet up, then we must remember that we had a guest, Steven, who was, obviously, not quite comfortable with how to fit in as he was new, necessitating some control in the ‘traffic’. I hope I have made my point clear.

The bottom-line is this; conflicts invariably happen. It’s how we deal with them that makes the difference.

 

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