Poisonous Gossips…

Have you ever been out with a friend who rants all day about how terrible someone is? It's the common disease of gossip and bad-mouthing. My mother used to teach me that if you have nothing nice to say about someone, then zip up! Gossips are like boomerangs, you spit them out and they come flying back to you, and that's the time to duck for cover! It's sad that some people are slow understand the magnitude of damage that gossip and bad-mouthing can do to undermine and assassinate one's character. As for me, I'm completely aware of the problems associated with bad-mouthing. I've been there once; at the business-end of a friend's mouth.

Have you been a victim to such spreaders of lies? Here are some tips on how to quell such gossips:

1. Don't partake in gossiping yourself. This gives you more credibility. If someone's bold enough to make up gossip about you then they probably do it to others as well, which means they will eventually lose credibility. Don't say "Well she..." say something like "Those things aren't true, but I'll let you make up your own mind about so-and-so."
2. Go to the source of the problem and find out who created the rumour and spread it. Make sure you are totally calm before you do it. Ask why the person spread the rumour. While one person may appear to be the source, they aren't always. A lot of rumors start from one miscommunication that turns into a bigger problem.
3. Live your life so that people will know the rumour is not true. Rumours are a form of social bullying and it is important that you don't let the bullying affect your life.
4. Be polite to the person who spread the rumour to show that you are the better person. Even if you hate their guts don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that it affects you.
5. Deny the rumor's truth to anyone who asks. If you go out of your way to defend yourself it will seem as though you have something to hide.
6. Go to a higher authority (your principal, boss, or whatever) if you feel threatened. Ask to stay anonymous and report the trouble that you're having with this person. If the authority that you contacted doesn't pay any attention to your report go to a higher authority and so on.
7. Make friends with some of the spreader's friends. This will help you win the battle.
8. Forgive, but don't forget. After you win, the spreader will probably want to be your friend. Refuse the offer, even if you don't want to, so that people won't want to mess with you.
9. Continue to live your life as if nothing ever happened.
10. Don't tell everyone everything about your personal life and your personal business. Remember be extra careful who you confide in, as not everyone keeps information to themselves and plus you never know who might be hearing and looking. If in doubt check with someone you trust e.g. Parents, boss, trusted friend, relative.
11. Don't show the gossipmongers you are angry, defensive or upset, it can give them the morsels that you have something to hide. The best way is to be calm, honest and but concise.
12. NEVER tell them to mind their own business - They might think you have something to hide, you are being rude or they can get sarcastic or angry with you and say 'It is my business' and they can spread it to others and they might press you for information even more.
13. Force your confidence: Even if you are not a confident person, you can always pretend. Ooze confidence, even in tricky situations. The key to being confident is knowing your assets, polishing them, and showing them off to the world.
14. Don't break down: Even if you have had the worst day imaginable, and you really can't handle them, stick at it, keep your cool: you are invincible.
15. If malicious gossip, rumour spreading and lies become severe enough, not only are they forms of bullying, they can also become Human Resources issues as well and also gossip, rumour spreading and lies can land you out of a job and if serious, with the law as well. (i.e. the offenses of libel and slander)

For more info, please visit http://www.wikihow.com/Squelch-Malicious-Gossip